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Exe.retsaG livE
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR UNDERTALE, SO DON'T READ UNLESS YOU GOT THE THREE ENDINGS. OR DO. IT'S A FREE INTERNET. Okay, okay, okay, you gotta believe me, because what I'm writing is absolutely 200.0% TRUE. Why would some guy on the internet lie to you? I mean, seriously. That is dumb and unprecedented, whatever that means. Okay, so I'm going to cut to the chase, because artificially lengthening a story with pointless stuff that could easily be omitted without changing the plot is only something done by desperate writers who want to fake effort, so I will continue. It all started on an absolutely beautiful day when the birds were singing and the flowers were blooming. On days like these, morbidly obese adults like me like to sit inside, watch Irish Anime and play videogames like a total loser. And what better game is there to play than Undertale? Well, according to Metacritic, it's GTA V, but UNDERTALE IS NUMBER ONE YOU IDIOT. So, you've all heard the legend of W. D. Gaster, right? About a dead scientist who only appears in the game if you hack the FAP value to 69? Well, I couldn't figure out how to use the Cheat Engine, so I decided to look for a patch to do it for me, but I couldn't find anything. That is, until an ad showed up that said "FREE UNDERTALE GASTER PATCH DOWNLOAD NOW!!!!!!!" I didn't think anything could be wrong about this ad, because it didn't have blood or anything, so I decided to download and install the patch. Boy, was I wrong about this forced foreshadowing being a good idea... Apparently, the patched changed "UNDERTALE.exe" to "Exe.retsaG livE," which was "Evil Gaster.exE" backwards. Not sure why the "E" was capitalized, or why the filename was in reverse at all. It even showed up like this in my Steam Library. Huh... ANY way, I started the game, just to be greeted by an empty Save file. MY PROGRESS...GONE!!!!!! Wait, this means that I got my Soul back from Chara. So...I am truly above consequences now. So I started a new game and named the first human "Chara," because I'm a vanilla-ass motherfucker. Instead of the text saying "The true name" like normal, it read as "You fucking dumbass, you're actually going to play this unofficial patch you found in an ad? Seriously?" in red text. I thought it was a glitch, until I entered "Yes," and the screen faded into red, rather than white. I was all like "what th fuk, the screen nevr turnt red bfor!!!111" And it was during that moment, that I realized that this wasn't a legitimate fanmade patch, but a glitchy or hacked fanmade patch, whatever that means... I walked past the door thing, and instead of Flowey showing up, a grayscale Sans popped up from the ground. He then said, "oh hello. the name's sans, but you can call me snas live. i hope you have a bad time in the ruins..." He then jumped onto a dog, and rode it away from the screen while Dogsong played in reverse. Toriel then showed up, but before she could introduce herself, nsaS livE showed up and shanked her with a bonesaw. "eeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeeh. now you're all alone. GEEEET DUUUUNKED ON, BIIITCH!!!!!." After he celebrated for pewndning me, he lept back onto the dog and vanished. I had to traverse the Ruins without any guidance from goat mommy. It was tough, and I was too scared to even talk to the dummy, but I managed. I came across Papyrus outside of Snowdin. "OH MY GOD!!!! IS THAT A...WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FONT? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO SPANS TYLE ABOUT THIS!!!! ALSO, WHERE THE HELL IS SANS? HE USUALLY DOESN'T SLACK OFF THIS LONG... I BETTER GO TO UNDYNE!" He then ran off in an over-the-top comical fashion, leaving me to solve the puzzles with no comical relief whatsoever. When I was on my way to Snowdin Town, I noticed that the area seemed empty. No encounters, no snowman, no Doggo, nothing. But when I made my way to the area where the Nice Cream ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Man is supposed to be, I noticed my screen getting dust on it, but when I wiped off my screen, the dust still remained. But then I realized it was hyper-realistic dust being projected from inside the game, even outside the 4;3 area. It was then that I realized that someone was killing off the game's characters in a violent and possibly realistic matter. But who could it be? There was absolutely nothing telling me about a possible murderer beforehand, so how was I supposed to know? I eventually made my way to Snowdin town expecting a ghost town, and to my absolute contradictory surprise, the town was almost empty! The shop and Snowed Inn were devoid of both items and inhabitants, and the Grillbyz bar was devoid, with the exception of the titular owner crying and almost putting his flames out. I then went north to find that the Riverperson was there in the boat this early in the game. I went up to them, and instead of asking if I wanted a ride, they said "TRALALALALA, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU WANT TO ADVANCE THIS SHITTY EXCUSE OF A PLOT?" Then there were two options that stated "Yes," and "Hell Fucking Yes," so I picked the less enthusiastic one because I have no life. Then the boat crashed through the King's Castle and into Assgore, crushing his bones and killing him effectively. And then IT happened. After whatever IT was happened, snaS livE showed up along with surypaP livE, enydnU livE, syhplA livE, notatteM livE and worst of all, yewolF agemO livE!!!!!!! Then the riverperson removed his cloak to reveal that he was actually retsaG .D .W livE!!!!!! OH MY KCIRF, REVERSE IS SOOS YPOOPS!!!!!!! Then, right in front of my very eyes, all the sretsnoM livE had this huge orgy with Frisk!!!! Completely uncensored, hyper-realistic, and it had the #undertale tag rather than the #undertail tag!!!!!!!! DEAD GOAT MOM, HOLY FUCK!!!!!! Approximately 93852930.3204 minutes later, they finished, then there was a voice that said, "YOUR SOUL IS NOW MINE! I AM NOW THIS WORLD'S GOD, AND I WILL GET REVENGE FOR SPANS TYLE THROWING ME INTO THE PIT AND BURNING ME, ALSO I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M REVEALING THIS OR HOW YOU'RE GOING TO DOCUMENT WINGDINGS, BECAUSE THE ONLY WAYS ANYONE COULD BE READING THIS NOW IS IF THEY'RE ON MOBILE, LOOKING IN THE SOURCE EDITOR, OR DRAGGING THE TEXT INTO NOTEPAD OR SOME SHIT. IF IT'S THE SECOND ONE, THEN DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE VANDALIZE THIS PAGE, AS I WILL KNOW AND SHANK YOU." And then this horrifying image appeared on my screen! http://i.imgur.com/ykTVyhel.jpg I don't know how much time I have left. My stopwatch isn't a timer that counts backwards, okay? I fear that he'll make it past the fourth wall and spook me for eternity... Wait, what is that on my bed? Is that a doLL 2 DOZEN EGGS, 1 JUG OF MILK, BREAD, AVOCADOS, SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI SAUCE, MOM'S SPAGHETTI IS READY, PREHEAT THE OVEN TO 420 DEGREES CELSIUS ADD THE INGREDIENTS INTO A PLASTIC BOWL, PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF IT, AND THEN YOU HAVE SPAGHETTI THAT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS PAPYRUS'S SPAGHETTI, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111 Written by Saytenn. Category:Archived Trollpasta